Sometimes, I wonder what life has in store for me. I cant say that I live a very comfortable life and I cannot compete with people who have had a tough life since birth (referring to those who were born to a less fortunate family or those who had disabilities). Therefore, I cannot complain about my life. But I want more out of my life and maybe it's a sort of quarter life crisis, I started to desire a life partner, be it a guy or a girl, I'm not even sure myself. I have never been sexually jealous at people for having someone around to call their boyfriend or girlfriend until recently. To have someone to want you as bad as you want them is something I doubt words can explain. In any case, I have never questioned my sexuality as well. Being gay, bisexual, straight, transexual- these labels never really bothered me, I see people as people and since nobody is the same two person why do we bother about it? As long as the person you want to live with can fulfill your needs, whatever they are, why do we need to place people into categories?

I've lived my life until now always on my own. Even with my parents and my brother around in the house, I've always thought myself as an independent person. Sure, I needed them for some things but I've always taken care of myself. So why the sudden change of desire for someone around to share the things that happen around me? Maybe it stems from my narcissism? Or my lack of emotional warmth? Or my feelings of inadequacy?

Haha... I may never know... Or do I even want to know? I've been trying to put myself out there but feeling conscious about my face (pimples, the stress of thinking about it doesn't help I'm sure!)

I've recently started reading Fifty Shades of Grey. And God, knows I've been laughing way too much for a book about BDSM... I think I'm partially jealous for someone to want another so badly...

On other news, I tried to apply for a slot to a comedy club in Singapore and fingers crossed on getting a slot. I think they are getting popular and so I've been waiting on a reply for my email. Which actually makes me unsure on what I actually want to do for the future: a comedian or a therapist. Rather conflicting choices, I sure.

I'll update soon on how it goes... Until then, fingers crossed!