Sometimes, I wonder what life has in store for me. I cant say that I live a very comfortable life and I cannot compete with people who have had a tough life since birth (referring to those who were born to a less fortunate family or those who had disabilities). Therefore, I cannot complain about my life. But I want more out of my life and maybe it's a sort of quarter life crisis, I started to desire a life partner, be it a guy or a girl, I'm not even sure myself. I have never been sexually jealous at people for having someone around to call their boyfriend or girlfriend until recently. To have someone to want you as bad as you want them is something I doubt words can explain. In any case, I have never questioned my sexuality as well. Being gay, bisexual, straight, transexual- these labels never really bothered me, I see people as people and since nobody is the same two person why do we bother about it? As long as the person you want to live with can fulfill your needs, whatever they are, why do we need to place people into categories?

I've lived my life until now always on my own. Even with my parents and my brother around in the house, I've always thought myself as an independent person. Sure, I needed them for some things but I've always taken care of myself. So why the sudden change of desire for someone around to share the things that happen around me? Maybe it stems from my narcissism? Or my lack of emotional warmth? Or my feelings of inadequacy?

Haha... I may never know... Or do I even want to know? I've been trying to put myself out there but feeling conscious about my face (pimples, the stress of thinking about it doesn't help I'm sure!)

I've recently started reading Fifty Shades of Grey. And God, knows I've been laughing way too much for a book about BDSM... I think I'm partially jealous for someone to want another so badly...

On other news, I tried to apply for a slot to a comedy club in Singapore and fingers crossed on getting a slot. I think they are getting popular and so I've been waiting on a reply for my email. Which actually makes me unsure on what I actually want to do for the future: a comedian or a therapist. Rather conflicting choices, I sure.

I'll update soon on how it goes... Until then, fingers crossed!

"Think big, think small and think beyond" That is the name for HP's new event coming this february... I'm now totally psyche about this event... There has been many speculations about what the event would cover and here I'm gonna give my own take on what actually is think big, think small and think beyond.

To think big: I believe that it can go two way... Think big as in think bigger in size (tablets) which is no surprise in any case there are already leaks, which I still believe are not leaks of the actual product. However, it could also mean to think bigger as in HP is gonna bring webOS to a bigger audience and wider base. With all the talk about scale that HP brings to Palm, I think we can expect wider audience to be able to get webOS hardware.

Think small: As in smaller in size as well? Sure, it has been said that HP would bring webOS into the smallest smartphone which is projected to be able to target the tweens of today. I dun pretend to be a tween but a small smartphone seems pretty interesting to me and I would definitely be interested to buy one if it actually comes to SG. However, small can also mean details. HP would be paying more attention into the smaller details and with ENYO (face) coming wouldnt tat be an interesting combination??

Last is to think beyond: Maybe because I'm selfish and I really really want a webOS phone but I'm keeping my fingers crossed about this particular one... To think beyond is to think beyond the shores of US or UK and bring to other countries (SINGAPORE PLEASE!!!). It also has to mean their ecosystem (a whole network of webOS phones working together? wouldn't that be great?!?!). In a world where I can go from using my phone to make toast to organising everything from my phone... I my now officially psyche about wad HP can bring with webOS.

Maybe I'm too forward looking that I am willing to sacrifice a few months to wait for something GREAT like webOS.. But this is the first time I can say that I have found the phone that I really really want!

Seriously considering to change my phone for sometime already AAAANNNNDDD... I found the almost perfect phone for me!!! Palm Pre 2!! or now that HP has bought over shld it be called HP Palm Pre 2?!?! Very long name... anyway... Unfortunately, I live in Singapore and seriously the telco here have the worse tastes in phones... the phones we have are all popular phones and nothing else... So here is me hoping that Palm actually brings it in... the website for Palm Singapore is still stuck at "introducing the webOS" with a picture of a pre 1 or pre minus as forum pple like to call it....

In any case, I have to wait for another 10 months or so to actually be able to change my plan... been itching for a data plan for the longest time now... soooooo.... still have to wait... in the meantime, I've been camping for pre updates....

SUPER long nvr blog le... updates updates...

STARCRAFT II is out~! At leas the first installation is... haha... Wings of Liberty... It contains all the terran missions and honestly, I couldn't care less... yet I have to play it all the same and I did... dl-ed it and played my hearts out... even though its like my 1st semester's finals... More about that later... I had like sooooo much fun with it that I had to play the protoss race and so I went on my quest to further find out how exactly to get the stupid map working... and finally... after weeks upon weeks of searching I found it in the most stupidest ways... I shall not further degrade myself but I'm finally playing it and I'm like so happy right now that even my brother's taunts did not bother me... wahahaha...

Okiez... Since its me... I have to talk about my studies... Been studying in SUNY for awhile alrdy... specifically 1 semester and 1 month... Been fun so far... Orientation was tiring but I met some really nice pple... Although we subsequently got separated into different classes we still see each other here and there... Meanwhile, I've been hanging out with my ESL classmates... very cool pple... had fun insulting them (like I always do... I have no idea why though...) and just goofing around... haha... Studies have been going great... I totally lurving Psychology... Its totally like I've been born for it.. haha... unfortunately my results were not as great as wad I was hoping for... Got B for Eng, B+ for Music, A- for Psychology and an A for maths... I mean seriously... wad kind of world is this... A for maths and B for english... I'm like wanting to kill myself alrdy and my friends said I did well... OMG la... maybe I'm a bit over melodramatic but hey... I'm hoping for the scholarship to go to US so I can have a holiday...

Oh ya... now the main point why I decided to update this blog... I EXERCISED 3 TIMES THIS WEEK~! ON MY OWN~~! This is totally cause for celebration... seriously... how many chances do I get to say that... haha... but in all seriousness... I plan to exercise at least 2 times a week starting last week... so far so good huh? But the pain comes next week when my school starts again... so I will have to see what happens then I guess... and I'm also considering working either these coming months or next year when my semester ends... I guess I have to see if I can cope with the school-load first...

Actually its not part 3 per say... but its the 3rd time I'm blogging about it so might as well la... Item up for bid today would be chocolate chip cookies. Cause I saw it would be the easier item to bake as compared to other baked goods so I'm giving it a shot.

Taste-wise its fine... like a cookie but a bit different in terms of texture. Maybe I'll try to shape it before cooking. I believe it might work better... Now to get some opinions on soft or hard cookies...

Next stop brownies...

Hah... tried to cook souffle today... Was quite ok with almost all the ingredients here, cept that I cannot find any cream in my local NTUC... So wad the hell... I tried to make it with a canned whipped single cream... So I started to make it... cooking was simple enough... But from wad I gather, the hardest part wasnt the cooking. But whats after that.

[EDIT]

Souffle is set for a night but still not firm. So I took it to freeze in my fridge.

Tested the souffle, taste-wise it was ok, not much I would change but texture wise I would need some more training... seeing as I havent grasp how to make it actually firm yet soft.

My first time cooking since a long time...

This time, my quest to tackle my very own Achilles heel- baking. My first time killing my own promise to myself... but more of that another time... I tried to cook a farmhouse white bread. Which in my opinion is a kind of bread that Hansel and Gretel ate when they were going to the forest.

Made it in a rush this morning before going to pray for Qing Ming Festival. It was a total chance that I actually got the tools I needed to bake the bread on the very day. I was totally happy that I was going to cook again.

And... If I may say so myself, its quite a nicely made. I'll probably put up some snapshots after I get around to taking them.

[EDIT] I made a small mistake of making the bread... I kind of did not knead it well enough so that the bread is more thick rather than soft ( which it should be ).